individual therapy specialties
therapy in texas for
dealing with emotions
many men weren’t given the tools needed to deal with their emotions in a healthy way. without these tools, emotions tend to take over our lives.
when anxiety takes over, you may notice trying to avoid what triggers the anxiety (e.g. speaking up at work, telling your partner your real thoughts and feelings) which only keeps the anxiety going long-term.
when depression takes over, it can come in the form of indifference and lack of emotions toward anything or anyone in your life. you may search for more stimulation in your life to cope, like using pornography, drugs, alcohol, or scrolling on your phone.
when anger takes over, you might say and do things you later regret. in the moment, it can feel impossible to stay in control. this can take a toll on your relationships, career, family, and self esteem.
when shame takes over, it can impact your relationship to yourself and others. during conflict, shame may show up as defensiveness, asking to be comforted, or a loud inner critic.
you can’t prevent feeling hard emotions. but through individual therapy, you can prevent them from being what you base your actions on.
learn in individual therapy how to stay in control in the face of hard emotions.
therapy in texas for
self esteem and self confidence
our self esteem and self confidence are shaped by many different experiences during life. some are positive experiences, like your family pinning your good report card to the fridge. some experiences are negative and severely disrupt our self esteem. things like abuse, neglect, bullying, criticism, and a general lack of positive experiences.
the aspects of yourself that you’d like to hide away from others can be private or public perceived flaws:
hiding private perceived flaws: always saying “it’s fine” to hide your disappointment, hopping on a videogame to avoid acknowledging your loneliness, using pornography or engaging in infidelity instead of telling your partner your sexual desires
hiding public perceived flaws: avoiding work social events so that they don’t see your awkwardness, dieting or hitting the gym hard to change feeling unattractive, wearing hats all the time or certain hairstyles to hide your hairline
when your self esteem and self confidence are dependent on things that change and are outside of your control (e.g. your looks, financial success, other people liking you), it creates a cycle of unstable and fluctuating self esteem. let’s work together in individual therapy to build a more stable and positive self esteem.
therapy in texas for
fears of abandonment
these fears didn’t start with you. they started in a chaotic or cold environment during childhood, where adults weren’t dependable, stable, or present. along the journey of life, you might have experienced emotional neglect or abuse, the loss of a loved one, saw relationships end in separation, had someone leave you for another person, or were cheated on.
to protect yourself from ever experiencing that kind of pain again, your mind now regularly predicts abandonment. it can’t hurt you if you saw it coming all along, right?
maybe the fear of abandonment looming over you is causing more stress, anxiety, and insecurity than it’s worth? maybe the ways you try to keep people from leaving you only drives them further away?
although this kind of pain didn’t start with you, it can certainly end with you. individual therapy can help calm that anxious voice in your head, and allow you to feel more secure in your relationships.
therapy in texas for
trust issues
when you don’t trust yourself:
you second guess what you want to say and how you want to say it
you shy away from challenging responsibilities or making decisions
you self-sabotage the good things in your life
you struggle to validate your emotions, or recognize them at all
when you don’t trust others:
you don’t tell people private things so that they can’t use it against you
you never put yourself in situations where you’d need to rely on someone
it’s hard for you to give other people the benefit of the doubt
you’re on alert for people lying, cheating, or taking advantage of you
if you resonate with some of those experiences, we can work together in individual therapy to feel empowered and regain confidence in your intuition.
therapy in texas for
people pleasing
“people pleasing” in relationships is a form of self-abandonment, where you disconnect from your own needs to focus on meeting the needs of others. sometimes it’s small behaviors like going to see a movie you don’t really want to- other times it’s big things like having unfulfilling sex, making life decision based on other’s wants, and losing your sense of identity.
people pleasing
what it looks like: hiding your true emotions and thoughts so that you can fulfill other peoples wants or needs
what it feels like: anxious, panic, resentment
why it’s happening: voicing your wants or prioritizing your needs might feel too risky, like if you were to do so this person might leave or reject you. this might be due to early life experiences where those fears came true
self-abandonment
what it looks like: ignoring your feelings, denying your emotions
what it feels like: loneliness, emptiness, confusion, disconnection
why it’s happening: taking up space in your life may be scary or overwhelming due to early life experiences where this was not possible
people pleasing and self-abandonment are two separate experiences that rely on one another: for someone to people please, they must first self-abandon. this can be a vicious cycle, reinforced by the reward of being well liked and having seemingly happy relationships. the downside is usually feeling resentful or lonely even in your closest relationships, because no one truly knows who you are or gives you what you need.
if this sounds like a cycle you’re caught in, individual or couples counseling is an excellent place to practice coming home to yourself.