Can We Talk About Men’s Mental Health?
I understand that mental health may seem like something only a few lucky men get to be concerned with in their life. And everyone else? Well, mental health is the least of their worries. Worrying about their families, careers, finances, relationships, and (maybe) their physical health all comes before worrying about their mental health. The reality? Our mental health is being impacted on a day to day, minute to minute basis- whether you give it a second thought, or not. That’s why speaking loudly and clearly about men’s mental health matters so greatly.
The State of Men’s Mental Health
Mental health is just one part of a person’s overall well-being; specifically, our psychological and emotional well-being. When it comes to mental health, men face a number of psychological, physical, and social concerns at higher rates; learning challenges, behavioral problems, ADHD, suicide, drug and alcohol misuse, overrepresented in prisons, being the victims of violent crimes, and lower life expectancy. Men’s lowered mental health may go unnoticed because many men express themselves in ways that do not align with typical symptoms.
Some common signs that men are struggling:
Negative mood (e.g., frequently feeling anger, irritability, anxiety, feeling down or depressed)
Lack of emotions, feeling numb, difficulty feeling positive emotions
Changes in behavior (e.g., aggressiveness, isolation)
Low energy, appetite changes, sleeping too much or insomnia
Alcohol and drug misuse, or engaging in high-risk behaviors
Self harm, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts
Increased difficulty with memory or concentration
Loss of pleasure in things once previously enjoyed
Impacts on Men’s Mental Health- Inside & Out
Men’s mental health can be impacted by both internal and external forces. Internally, a man’s mental health may be greatly impacted by his inner critic, holding himself to unreachable high standards, and avoiding thoughts that cause his stress. Emotions such as chronic shame, anxiety, depression, anger, and stress might lower a man’s mental health. Looking at external factors such as society, life events, and relationship dynamics can all impact men’s mental health. As financial stress rises and the economy tanks, so does men’s mental health. On top of that, the constant societal pressure to prove yourself as a man takes a toll. Men who are a part of marginalized groups (e.g., men of color, LGBTQ+ men, men with disabilities) experience compounded stress from oppression. Said plainly, although men experience relative privileged based on their gender- being a man doesn’t make someone invulnerable to the hardships of life.
Improving Men’s Mental Health: A Path Forward
Even though men experience certain mental health concerns at higher rates and are constantly feeling the pressure, they seek out therapy services (and help in general) less often. When it comes to improving mental health, society has created a crossroad for men: (Option 1) Suffer in silence but feel like a “real man” or (Option 2) Seek out help but feel embarrassed or shameful about it. So, what can anyone do about that?
Being a part of the culture shift: Changing the way society and all it’s inhabitants view men’s mental health is not something that happens overnight. But using what individual power you do have to be a part of a destigmatizing men’s mental health allows for the people in your circle to join in too. This could look like speaking positively about men attending counseling, addressing when other’s make stigmatizing remarks about men’s mental health, or even encouraging a man in your life to begin counseling.
Using personal strengths to overcome barriers to care: If you’re a man who would benefit from counseling but are struggling to feel comfortable reaching out, you’re probably (and understandably) focused on all the reasons not to go and the discomfort surrounding this. Turning instead toward what your personal strengths are and how they can help you access care can be a real game changer. Take for example a man who suffers in silence. Dealing with pain in isolation isn’t the strength, no- it’s the resilience behind being able to do that. That same resilience can help him tolerate and get through the negative feelings behind starting therapy. Let your strengths work for you, not against you.
Use the support systems around you: There are many forms of help available if you know where to look, and what you’re looking for. Asking your peers, asking search engines, or asking loved ones is a great start to learning where to find help, “Do you see a general practitioner? Do you like them?” or “Know of any good psychologists?” or “I really want to join a rec league but can’t find any- do you know of any local ones"?”. Using your community can help you find support, and can also be a form of support in itself. Take some time to reflect on what qualities you’re looking for in a supportive person or group. Do you want someone who will give advice? Do you want a group who will hold you accountable to your goals? Are you looking for a place to relax and unwind, or to add some fun and energy to your days? Knowing what you want out of your support gives you a working compass to seek out people and groups who match those needs.
Seek out personalized care: Studies have show men feel that therapy is gender biased, meaning there is a need for nuanced and specialized care for men. Some men don’t love sitting still and talking for 60 minutes straight- other men love exploring their thoughts and feelings. Some men prefer to focus on solutions and other men want to dive deep. Neither is better than the other, of course. Having a psychologist who can be flexible and sensitive to the unique needs of men and their mental health can help men get the most out of their therapy experience. Everyone wants to be seen and understood, it’s important your psychologist can rise to that challenge.
Small steps can have a big impact on de-stigmatizing men’s mental health and seeking help. Being a part of the change is not always an easy road, and not always a quick journey either- but it is worth while.
